The way God works and provides does not always make sense. I know I often think of myself and especially other missionaries who have a clear calling and vision to advance the kingdom. But then I see them struggle and I have struggled to get enough funding. In InterVarsity campuses and ministries have been affected by staff with insufficient funding.
So when we experience this what do we believe about God, God's goodness, and God's plans?
Sometimes we get angry or discouraged. But I believe we are called to persevere and continue trusting. Elijah the prophet went through exactly what we go through in finding provision for his ministry: in 1 Kings 17 where Elijah begins his ministry by prophesying in the face of a corrupt king of Israel. Then Elijah's word begins a drought and Elijah has no food or home except a brook and food brought to him by ravens in the wilderness. But then God makes the brook run dry and stops providing food through the ravens. So Elijah is without food and water and seemingly without hope in the wilderness.
What if the story ended there? Elijah and the widow and her son would have died.
I felt like I was at that point last Wednesday. I felt like I was going crazy and going to have a breakdown because of life and fundraising. Even if I got funded I felt like I was not mature enough, godly enough or wise enough to pastor a group of college students.
But Elijah's story and the widows did not end there. That was only the beginning! So too with my life and ministry God had more and has more plans:
Somehow God picked me up and I just kept doing my best to be faithful to what I knew God had called me to do: to keep asking people to partner in this ministry, especially now with people I knew less. This reminds me of how Elijah asked boldly a widow who was not a believer. who was ready to die if she would share the last food she had. God also blessed me with a taste of giving and sharing my contacts this summer as I partnered with Max another missionary from my home church. God also has blessed me to partner with other missionaries from my own income. That same day I had a little breakdown I was able to host a married couple on staff with InterVarsity Justin and Samantha and welcome them into my men's small group to ask for partnership. It was hard and scary at first.
But I have tasted and seen the Lord's provision abundantly! For the Lord provided for Elijah when he asked twice and risked it. But the Lord also provided for the widow and son who weren't believers when they gave:
13 Elijah said to her, “Don’t be afraid. Go home and do as you have said. But first make a small loaf of bread for me from what you have and bring it to me, and then make something for yourself and your son. 14 For this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the Lord sends rain on the land.’”
15 She went away and did as Elijah had told her. So there was food every day for Elijah and for the woman and her family. 16 For the jar of flour was not used up and the jug of oil did not run dry, in keeping with the word of the Lord spoken by Elijah.
In the 5 days after that Wednesday of breakdown God provided 16% of my annual budget! And he provided through people I hardly knew and almost didn't even ask. All Praise be to God! For the Lord is good and he provides abundantly. But not always in the timing or way we expect. Lord give me and others encouragement from my story that we might continue to be faithful in fundraising! And always remind us you are the provider and all glory goes to you! All glory be to our God who reigns from on high and yet is close and near to our troubled world and hearts.
Amen
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